TW: Allusions to mental health issues
Kechi,
When you find my body, decayed, and undeserving of my memory, of the light I once carried:
1. You will cover me
I have a reputation to protect. I lived and I carried my regrets in a suitcase. It was tightly locked and carefully guarded. You will say that I lived and died happy, unburdened by all the weights that now share this grave with me. Even in death, my soul is not at peace. You will share stories of my humor, of my wit. You will try your hardest to remind people that I deserved all I got. You will deck me in red. Cover my bruises. Perhaps a chemical peel. You will make sure I go out in style.
2. You will shed a tear
Maybe two. Nothing excessive. You will play Arabanko by Stanley Nnorom, closely followed by Ababa Nna’s entire discography. Do not skip a song. You will dance like something broke in you. You will dance like you are at war with a full bladder. You will dance with the weight of a broken heart. And you will do it with a smile.
3. You will look your best
When you dance with the picture of my old shell, a body I violently picked at, you will remember that my enemies are in the crowd and you will dress accordingly. You will need heels, to look into the eyes of grief, and spit. You will need liver. In that moment you will morph into a performer — deserving of EGOT. You will measure your breaths with your steps. You will rise to a level of perfection…
