Fucking, fills me with shame.
Do I sound right?
Do I feel right?
Do they like it?
Once again I am performing for the pleasure of others.
They put their wants in my vagina, on my breast, on my neck, in my ears.
They grunt, and fuck, and lick and bite, and hurt me until they are happy.
Then I smile at them, wear my clothes, walk the seven steps to the bathroom, sit on the toilet and force myself to pee. While I pee, I pray that everything they have left with me ends up in the toilet. I pray that they do not want to talk or that maybe they want to know if I liked it. I pray that I learn to respect myself more, that I learn to hug myself tighter, that I learn to say No. I respect you, they say, as they take free trips around my body. Every time, I fall for it. They do not have to lie anymore. I fabricate intentions for their actions.
He hugged me so he must like me.
He kissed me so he must want me.
He fucked me, so he must love me.
Stupid,
lying,
dizzy,
empty,
whore,
bitch.
Why have you not learnt? Why do you competitively limbo into the waiting arms of another low life? Why does your usefulness expire at daylight?
